As provided for under the Congressional Personal Doll Freedom Act of 2016. All persons of Queer disposition, active or not, are required to own, and prominently display at least one doll.
Said doll must be well cared for. Brushed cleaned spoken to,...as in reading stories to, and or or conversing with. Also by law said doll must be provided with at least four (4) new gowns ten (10) pairs of shoes both formal, and casual, and at least three (3) new hats each calendar year.
The doll or dolls must be available for inspection by official authorities, Homeland Security, NSA or delegated local Personal Doll Inspection Agencies. Failure to produce required doll or dolls could result in serious fines or possible detention.
The "Congressional Personal Doll Freedom Act" is not just a good idea.
IT'S THE LAW!
Stay Tuned.
Com'on this is a tough 'hood.
Anyway as I sez they was most impressed by my assortment of dolls, and assorted related paraphernalia. Indeed I was awarded the Federal Doll Compliance medal...First Class. They even invited me to be an Associated Inspector. So enthusiastic was my adherence to the Federal Mandate.
I had to decline for reasons of health. However I did accept an honorary Kevlar flak jacket emblazoned with the crest of the Department of Doll Security.
I also accepted off the books of course a *Beretta M9 semiautomatic, 9mm, M9, 9×19mm Parabellum. This the official side arm of the U.S. armed forces, and Certain Federal Agencies like the Dept. of Doll Security.
*Mind you I'll only use it during extreme situations.